“i—ian’t—”stubbornly,hetriedtoholdbakthetearsthatwerefinhiseyes.

“i—”hegulped.“ibrokeupwithastoria.”

“soyoureallyfot,”shehuffed.“weweresupposedtohavedinner.”

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“talktome,”pansysaid,hervoiefullofonern.shepulledhimloser,fhisarmstoolpse,untilhisheadwasrestinginherp.withoutthinking,hegrabbedatherdress,lingingtoitasifthatwouldlessenthepain.

“oh.”hedidn’tevenremembermakingpnswithher.hefelttooexhaustedtorakhisbrainorevenhaveanormaloion.hejustwantedtoolpseandnevergetupagain.

“it’sabouttime,”pansysnappedwhendraosteppedintohisbedroom.

t.”

chapter8:unlessyouwannaealong

sunday,16marh2003

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“ian’t,”draowhispered,asharppainshootingdownhisthroatashespoke.

hefeltpansystiffen.“what?but—you—”

draoknewthisshouldbehisuetoleave.heshouldn’tbehere,staringatpotter,onlyinhesapartfromhim.hislipsinvoluntarilypartedwhenhefeltwarm,hesitantfingersbrushinghis.hisindexfingertwithed,movingagainstpotter’spalm.hishandlosedarounddrao’sinreturn.draoinhaledsharply,urlinghistoesinhisshoesandlosinghiseyes.didpotterreallywanthim?wasthatit?no,itouldn’tbe.hehadfoundsomeoneelse.hewasinaretionship.hejustwanteddraoasafriend.

“ihavetogo.”

“whatareyoudoinghere?”

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didheknow?draodoubtedit.hedoubtedpotterhadanyideahowmuhdraowassuffering.

hehadsunkentohisknees,pressinghispalmsagainsttheoldfloor.

“eon,ifwegonow,weanstill—drao?”

“iknow,”potterrepliedquietly,buthedidn’tremovehishand.

“drao,what’swrong?”hefeltpansy’shandsonhisbakasshekdowninfrontofhim.“merlin,you’reshaking.drao,whathappened?”

beforepotterouldtightenhisgrip,draowithdrewhishandandstormedoutofthekithen,outoftheft,withoutabakwardgne.