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“no.”heidhisarmoutftalongtheedgeofthetub,andafteramomentharryopiedhim,theirhandslyingloseenoughsotheirfingerstouhed,butjustbarely.“wedon’t.”

“ireallydon’tthinkiwant

ebakofhismindheknowsthatthisisabadideaandthatheshouldbegettingoutofitwhilehestin.whatwilltheydowhenit’stimetogetout?oriftheyfasleepandthenwakeuptheminfreezingoldwater,whowthehelltheythoughtthiswasagoodidea?orwhentheyhadtositarossfromeahotheratthebreakfasttablethemandpretendthateverythingisthesame?

hedoesn’tknow,buthedoesn’tmove,either,beauseharryhasenhantedthebubblestofloatanddraoismorphingthemintodifferentshapesatharry’srequest,beausethey’regrownmenwholiketodothingslikethis.(they’reonlyeighteen.iseighteengrown?itfeelslikeit.)they’realsosolosetogetherthatthey’rekneesarepressedupagainsteahother,andsometimesharrywithathisarmlikehewantstosaysomethingimportant,butneverdoes.

theymovedfromthebathtubtothebathroomfloor,leaningagainsteahothertostayupright,harry’sheadondrao’sshoulder.

draolikedthesoundofthat,thenotknowing,evenifitsortofterrifiedhim.

“idon’tknow.”harryisblindinglyiattimeslikethis,theembodimentofeverythingthatisgood.heisnotsomeonewhoispreparedtoexpetdisasterateveryturn,evenaftereverythinghehasseen.“dowehavetoknow?”

“whatarewedoing?”draodoesn’tknowwhatheisasking,exatly.ifhemeansthismoment,asinwhyaretheypretendingthisissomethingmateswoulddoiftheyweresober,oronargersale,asinwhyhewasevenhereinthehouseatall,oringeneral,asin,whataretheythinkingaboutthesefeelingsgrowingupbetweenthemlikeflowersthatareonlygoingtobehokedoutbyweeds,beauseheknowsthatharryisfeelingthemtoo.