tobeanauroranymore.”

hiswordsbreakupthesilene,anddraouandswhatallthedrinkingwasabout,thelinginess,thenotwantingtobealone.ithadnothingtodowithhimatall.

(butitdid.ithadeverythingtodowithhim,withthebothofthem,andheknowsit.)

“thendon’t.”theanswerseemedsosimplewhenhesaiditlikethat,eventhoughheknewitwasanythingbut.harrywasnotaboywhowasraisedtostopfighting.helivedhislifeasasoldierforawarhedidn’tknowexistedfromtheverymomenthewasborn.

“idon’tknowhowtobeanythingelse.”

“thendon’tbeanything.”don’tyouthinkyou’vegivenenough?isn’tittimethatyougotahorest,tofigureoutwhatlifeiswhentherearenowolvessnappingatyourhellsandkeepingyourunning?“justbeharry.”

“idon’tknowwhothatis.”

theonfessionsyoumakewhenyouaredrunkarealwaysthesortofthingsyouwouldneversaywhilesober.that’sthewholeentirepurposeofdrinking,tofindthetruthbehindtheliesyoutellyourself.

“ido.”it’sonlybeausehewasertainharrywouldn’trememberthatgrabbedholdofhishandandpressedakisstothebakofhisknukles,stillwthathegotthehodothis.hedoesnotfeellikehedeservesit,still.“i’llhelpyoufindhim.”

chapter12

drao